National Health Service....
I saw a lady today wi' Bitemporal Hemianopia. It's quite common, and patients presenting with this need an immediate referral to the hospital for a brain scan. Ophthalmologists don't tend to work weekends, but theres usually a half specialised, jack-of-all-trades GP on call...So I rung up the local infirmary to see whether there'd be anyone there to see her...
BOOOOOOOOOYAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Inspires confidence in our NHS doesn't it?
Cheers.
ME: Hello is that the Dr on call...?
CowboyGP: Yes...
ME: I've got a lady 'ere wi' a bitemporal hemianopia...I was wondering whether anyone could see her today as an emergency...Shes been complaining of headaches fer t'past 8 months...
CowboyGP: Ok, we wont be able to do any CT scans today...we'll see her on Monday...
ME: Erm...are you sure about that?...Bitemporal hemianopias are sometimes life or death...
CowboyGP: No no it's ok...trust me...Who are you?...
ME: I'm an optom wukkin in t'local area...
CowboyGP: Well that's nice...and I'm the doctor...We'll book her in for Monday...don't worry...
ME: riiight...ok...that's fine...it's your call...
CowboyGP: Yes, it is...give me her details...
*Details given*
I dint trust him...so I decided to ring up another hospital in t'area...
Lady: Hello hospital switchboard
ME: Hello, I'm an optom wukkin in t'local area and I was wonderin whether I could speak to t'doctor on call?
Lady: Yes...putting you through...hold the line...
CowboyGP: Hello?
ME: Hello, Ive got a lady wi bitemporal hemianopia...I was wondering anyone could see her today...?
CowboyGP: Haven't I just spoken to you...?
ME: Erm...you have...?
CowboyGP: Yes I have...I work on behalf of both hospitals in this area...
ME: Ohhh...erm...*long pause*...ok...sorry bout that...The lady wants to be seen at this hospital rather than the other one...
CowboyGP: Ok...we'll book her here...ON MONDAY...theres no chance of having scans done here or over there...so it'll have to be done MONDAY...
ME: *sheepish* ....Ok, Monday...
CowboyGP: Don't worry yourself over it...
ME: ah, ok....and shall I...
*click*
knob...
15 mintes later...He rings back...
ME: Hello?
CowboyGP: Is that the optom I just spoke to?
ME: Yes...
CowboyGP: You don't happen to have the patients phone number do you?
ME: Why?
CowboyGP: Well, I was busy wi' a patient on another line earlier when you rang and couldnt get enough details from you, maybe it'd be a good idea to have her come and see us today for a brain scan...
(he prolly went and read up on it...the shithead...)
ME: Well yeah, that's what i was asking for...but ...youre the doctor...
CowboyGP: Yeh, I was a bit preoccupied earlier...I dint understand what was happening...bitemproal hemianopias could indicate brain tumours...
ME: mmhmm indeed...they could...
*Gave him phone number*
CowboyGP: Ok, do you want to ring her or shall I?
ME: You do it mate, I've done my bit in referring her to you...(knob)...
CowboyGP: What was that?
ME: oh nowt...
CowboyGP: Ok, well i'll give her a ring and thanks fer referring her...
ME: No problem...cheers
*click*
BOOOOOOOOOYAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Inspires confidence in our NHS doesn't it?
Cheers.
posted by PLOPS at 9:57 PM
8 Comments:
LOL..hahahahahahahahahaha....niice!
Thanks for that laugh!
er..ok bye..!
knob!
Retarded doctor! That's exactly why I decided not to be one, not because I can't imagine sitting on my butt for 72 consecutive hours memorizing the names of every single friggin bone in the human body, but rather because I think all the studying in med school wears down the brain tissue and causes students' IQ's to lower dramatically after graduation.
Anyways, your message woke me up. Does two-hour time difference mean nothing to you? And as a reply I will say: "How else would I be able to get that close to your hair?" :P
thank u for the thought-provoking comment
Guji_girl > cheers lass...
Shaf> agreed...
Asi> erm...ok...
Suckyface> are you sure its 2 hours?...hmmm...
Squeeky> No problem lass, anytime...
Worldifuuled> I'll prolly mek a better job of it than some of t'goons u get nowadays anyroad...don't be doin t'same when u qualify...'yeh'...
I was talking about the doc not u :)
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